Good dogs, bad labs

Приеха в болница пиян лабрадор
Тригодишното ловджийско куче на австрийски ловец е прието във ветеринарна клиника в град Бад Гойзерн с 1,6 промила алкохол в кръвта, предаде АФП.
Лабрадорът Динго бил отведен от стопанина си в клиниката, защото кучето страдало от стомашни газове и разстройство.
Докато го преслушвал, лекарят констатирал, че то смърди на алкохол. Направеният кръвен тест потвърдил очевидното – кучето било мъртвопияно с 1,6 промила алкохол.
Случаят обаче бил доста банален – кучето изяло 0,5 кг тесто за хляб, докато втасвало в кухнята на стопанина му.
Ветеринарният лекар заявил, че при поглъщане на тесто в процес на ферментация се получава алкохол, и предписал на „пациента“ здрав сън за дезинтоксикация.
„Недобронамерени хора твърдят, че ловците често били пияници, но при мен пияница се оказа кучето ми“, заявил с чувство за хумор стопанинът на Динго.

Booze: That Drunk Is Dog!
Dog hospitalised for being over the limit
VIENNA (AFP) - A dog was admitted to a veterinary clinic in at the weekend, barely able to stand on his own four paws and reeking "like a beer hall," a newspaper reported on Monday.
Dingo, a three-year-old labrador weighing 40 kilogrammes (88 pounds), was a pitiful sight when his owner, a hunter, brought him in to the surgery in the Salzkammergut region, the Oberoesterreichische Nachrichten quoted vet Karl Hofbauer as saying.
"The dog had dreadful wind and diarrhea, and was vomiting a lot," Hofbauer said.
"When I got him up on the table, it smelt like a distillery."
Tests indicated that the dog had a blood alcohol content of 1.6 milligrams per 100 millilitres. But that was not the result of Dingo having one drink too many, the owner insisted. The hungry pooch had stolen and secretly devoured half a kilogramme of fresh yeast dough from the kitchen. Alcohol had formed inside his stomach as a result of the fermentation process, leaving poor old Dingo stone drunk.
"Nasty-minded people said that we hunters are often drunk. With me, it's my dog," joked the owner.

Chien autrichien ivre mort
Un labrador hospitalisé avec 1,6 g d'alcool dans le sang
VIENNE (AFP) - Un jeune labrador de 3 ans, chien d'un chasseur de la région du Salzkammergut dans le nord de l'Autriche, a été hospitalisé à la clinique vétérinaire de Bad Goisern avec 1,6 g d'alcool dans le sang, a rapporté lundi le quotidien OÖ-Nachrichten sur son site internet.
Dingo, qui pèse 40 kilos, avait été conduit par son maître dans la clinique vendredi car il souffrait d'aérophagie et de diarrhées. "Lorsque j'ai placé le chien sur ma table d'auscultation ça sentait comme dans une distillerie d'alcool", a indiqué le vétérinaire Karl Hofbauer au journal.
Suite à l'analyse d'un échantillon sanguin de l'animal, le verdict était sans appel: Dingo présentait un taux d'alcoolémie de 1,6 g.
Après enquête il s'est avéré que le chien de chasse avait subtilisé 500 grammes de pâte à pain en fermentation dans la cuisine familiale de son maître. "La digestion d'une pâte en fermentation produit de l'alcool", a expliqué le vétérinaire qui a prescrit un bon sommeil de désintoxication.
"Les gens malintentionnés disent ici que les chasseurs sont souvent saouls, et bien chez moi c'est le chien", a souligné avec humour le propriétaire de Dingo.

Лабрадорката Кони слага прането в пералнята и полива цветята
Женският лабрадор Кони е куче, каквото всяка домакиня би искала да има в дома си. Тя слага прането в пералната, полива цветята и разтребва вкъщи.
Стопанката на Кони Хейзъл Картър, бивш дресьор на кучета, я е научила
да й помага в къщи, след като се разболяла от артрит. Така Кони слага
прането в пералната машина, докато Хейзъл сипва праха за пране, отива
в магазина да вземе покупките, поръчани от Хейзъл по телефона и събира нещата, разхвърляни из къщата. /Фонет
p.s. в последсвие стана ясно, че Кони не е лабрадор, а Нюфаундленд

Landing a Newfound Helper
Hazel Carter's home help tidies the house, does the washing and brings home the shopping. And the only payment she requires is a nice big bowl of dog food at dinner time. No wonder Connie the Newfoundland is her owner's best friend. When Mrs Carter was struck down with crippling arthritis in her back, she found herself unable to perform simple household tasks. But she used her skills as an animal behaviourist to teach Connie how to do the work instead. The two-year-old animal picks out items of dirty clothing from the laundry basket and places them inside the washing machine. Once it is full, she places a detergent ball on top of the clothes before reaching up and turning on the machine with her paw. When the washing cycle is over, Connie squeezes her head through the door of the frame and transfers the clean clothes to the tumble dryer. Mrs Carter, 68, could leave the dog to complete the entire task unsupervised - if only Connie understood that dark colours must not be washed with whites. "My arthritis is slowly improving these days," said Mrs Carter, from Uckfield, East Sussex. "But there was a point where I was almost bedridden and every movement was painful - so to have Connie there to pick things up and pass them to me was a lifesaver." When Mrs Carter is short of essentials, she phones up the local shop with her requirements and sends Connie along to pick them up. And the dog's tidying skills rival that of a professional cleaner. When Mrs Carter leaves anything lying around the house, Connie knows exactly where it came from and return it to its rightful home. "She really loves helping out,' she said. 'Her tail is always wagging and she just does some of the jobs automatically now. "She fetches her own dog bowl at dinner time, making sure to put it back afterwards. She picks up items like pens and knives that I drop on the floor. "Connie can do a lot - she can even unties my shoelaces for me if I ask her. She is a brilliant help around the home - and really enjoys it too. She is a big dog - but she is so gentle. "At one stage all I could do was lie in bed and Connie would bring me a toy from her toy box for me to throw from my prostrate position. She quickly learnt that to have a game she must first bring her toy to me, a very valuable lesson. "My idea was to keep her occupied and mentally stimulated while helping me at the same time." Mrs Carter teaches Connie by giving her treats for tasks that are performed well and is keen to encourage other dog owners to train their pets to help out. She recently spoke at a conference on animal behaviour and Connie has been successful at three obedience contests. "I like to try to inspire people who are traumatised with injury that they too can do this," added Mrs Carter. "Even just a little bit of help goes a long way."

source